a story to be told

I am wearing the same clothes I wore 24 hours ago and I don't really even mind. I haven't slept in the past 24 hours either; Rachel and I made a pact to stay awake all night to watch the sun come up for our last night here. I had a few weak moments, moments where I about dozed off, but I made it!

Around 5:00 am, we headed towards the stadium, a short walk from out hostel, to watch the sun rise.

It was quick.

It wasn't particularly stunning.

But, at the same time, it was.
It's kind of like how Ghana has been, really. It wasn't always incredible on the surface. No, it was the intricate day-to-day experiences that made Ghana one of the most amazing experiences of my life.

But the sunrise was beautiful. And as it peaked over the horizon, it kind of hit me.

Have I been living a dream?

Did this really happen?

Is it really over?

Am I really going back to the United States?

How in the world do I adjust from Africa, from Ghana, to the United States of America?

It doesn't feel real.

It doesn't feel real to be leaving.

We said goodbye to my friend Paula last night, and that was hard.

Tonight, we are leaving Ghana.

My heart will be here forever, part of me will be here forever.

I have letters to finish, bags to pack, goodbyes to share, a few more tro tro rides, and one last cold shower to take.

And then, I will put on my pretty kente dress, with my matching kente bag and headband, and head home.

So many emotions, feelings, thoughts are running through my mind, and I don't really know how to put them together. One moment tears are ready to sprawl from my eyes, and another I can't help but laugh at every single thing because I am so giddy.

I guess I can be sure of one thing: this was a life-changing experience. I feel like the luckiest girl in the whole world to have lived in Ghana for 5 months. I've learnt more than you can possibly imagine, loved more than I possibly could, and laughed a ton along the way.

I couldn't have asked for anything better.

Ghana will be intricately woven into my story for the rest of my life.

There are many stories to be told, many experiences, that somehow are now part of my own story and that I look forward to sharing. 

That's a really beautiful, rare, amazing, and incredible thing.

Saying goodbye to Paula at the Accra airport

Gloria, Salem, and Rukia holding pictures of my family and friends from home. They each picked out a picture they wanted to keep. In a way, my family here can know my family at home.

These kids make me SO happy.

Beautiful Gloria, this is only the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Our last sunrise in Africa.

it's the home strech

One week from today I will be boarding a plane to London. From there, I will be AMERICA bound.

It's exciting, it's sad, it's crazy, and it's coming very soon.

A few weeks ago I was freaking out about leaving. I couldn't imagine saying goodbye to a place that has come to mean so much to me.

Somehow, I feel ready. I know it will be hard. I know that. But, as Ghanaians say, it's coming. I have to face the reality; I have to realize that life is moving, ever-changing, and I can't make time stand still.

I have had the most incredible past few weeks. I have been living my life here in Ghana, here in Accra. I haven't traveled since we went to Benin, and this has allowed me significant time in Kissemahn, around ISH, around Legon, and in Accra. I've been to poetry readings, I've sang "Superfreak" at karaoke night with Rachel, I've been to the beach, I've shopped at the market, I've taken my finals, I've shown the kids how to play field hockey, I've been to a Ghanaian mass service, I've gone out dancing, and I've eaten way too much banku.

I have one week left, and I have no regrets. That's the best way to be, I think.

Here are some photos from the past few weeks. I wanted to add plenty more, but with sketchy internet I suppose these will suffice.

Peace and love.

Last day of lecture in Social Welfare & Social Policy

Sports Day at Kissemahn

Obrunis practicing for the traditional dance final : )

Kissemahn returns to the beach!

Football

Sunset at home (ISH--International Students Hostel)

Ghana Time

I made a list just a few short weeks ago when I realized my time in Ghana was coming to an end.

I wanted to write down everything that I wanted to do before I left. I wanted to be sure that I did everything I could possibly do while I was here for the last few weeks.

I wanted to make sure I climbed a mountain, had a beach weekend, and even find a way to attend a Ghanaian funeral. After all, Ghanaian funerals are unlike any funeral most Americans have ever seen. Glittered with intricate fabrics of red and black, lots of shouting and screaming, funerals tend to be a true celebration here in Ghana. Few, if any, dwell on the tragedy, and instead embrace the life that has been lived.
I glanced at the list the other day, realizing I haven't gotten around to much of it. I won't be traveling to Ivory Coast, I may not make it back to the Volta Region to do some hiking, and I may not even get to a funeral before I leave.

But, Ghana has never really been about the lists. In fact, it's never really been about checking things off, getting things done. Ghana is much more about letting things come as they will and just going with the moment. That's probably one of the biggest reasons why I really just love it here.

When you walk down the street, adjacent to the night market, being sure to watch where you walk (you would hate to fall in the gutter. Seriously. We have open gutters in many places in Ghana…), you might see a friend and talk for 20 minutes unexpectedly. You might grab an egg sandwich—of course with laughing cow cheese (you know, cheese that doesn't need refrigeration)—or you might just grab a mango.

When you go to catch a tro-tro you never know what you might experience. Just the other day, I rode on a tro to Kissemahn alone. Just me, the mate, and the driver. While I know they wanted more people to get on so they could get more business, I secretly liked riding alone because I got to ride shotgun. One other time, coming back from Kokrobite, the mate and driver let me help them out a bit. I screamed out the places we were headed, coupled with the hand signals, and for a minute felt like I could be Ghana's next greatest mate on a tro-tro. This past weekend when we went to Makola market to get fabric we expected it to be a quick process; you know, get in and get out. But, shopping here doesn't tend to work like it does when you enter Super Wal-Mart back home and you can pick what you need and move right along. Instead, we became immersed in the world of fabric, contemplating which colors were best, which designs were the most suitable, and of course had to work our bargaining skills. I will say, even after 4 months here, I still can't bargain well at all. This, on top of making friends with the women selling the fabric, led us to taking our time and enjoying ourselves, despite the heat, close spaces, and the beckoning market women.

We run on a thing called Ghana time. At first, it was so hard to adjust to. I couldn't possibly understand why a class, a program, or a service would start over 45 minutes later. It didn't make sense. But, once you start living the Ghanaian life you begin to see a little more clearly. Things move a little slower, a little calmer, and you learn to just take things as they come. In the grand scheme of things, it just isn't that big of a deal.

I try closing my eyes, imagining what things are like back home. I've always been that girl, running from one thing to the next, trying to get as many things done as I could. It's always been like that. Even in Ghana, I can still be that girl walking fast, always headed somewhere. I think it comes from just being an intense person. But, I feel different now. If I'm late, it's okay. If I need to get things done and it takes longer than expected, it doesn't really matter.

You know what the best part is?

It's the truth. It really doesn't matter.

Because, at the end of the day, if you are doing what you love, enjoying life, and embracing the people around you, well, then you really can't go wrong.

I may not get everything crossed off of the list I made a few short weeks ago. I'm not worried though. Because in the last 21 days that I have here, I fully intend to spend my days just being here. I know that at some point I will begin the mental, emotional, and spiritual process of leaving. But, that day has not yet arrived. And so, I am here, and I am living. I am living on Ghana time, and I don't think I would have it any other way.

My heart is all over the world tonight

Let your face shine on your servant; save me in your unfailing love. Psalm 31: 16

We are all feeling it here in Ghana.

We are all just finding this week a little difficult.

I can't exactly pinpoint why it's been especially hard this week. I can't tell you why I feel the way I do. It's just been hard.

I wouldn't say I am homesick. I mean, I do miss my home. I miss my family, I miss my friends, and I miss America. But, by no means am I ready to go home. I think because I am officially half way through this experience, the "honeymoon" period is over, and I am starting to fully adjust to living here. I want to fully embrace that, but it's hard to be vulnerable and attach myself here when I know it's temporary. I think I might be afraid too, because I know I'm attached, and I'm afraid of how it will feel to leave.

But you know what?

I just can't be afraid. I can't keep how I feel inside, because that just isn't me. I've always worn my heart on my sleeve, and I don't want to miss on being vulnerable because I'm scared. There is just so much more to living in Ghana than that.

Maybe this week has been hard because the emotion is finally catching up with me.

I'm burnt, I'm worried about the Kissemahn kids, I am disappointed that we can't spend time in Togo because of the riots, I want nothing more than a hot cup of coffee, I am frustrated with how my classes have been going, and I wish to see the faces of people I love. I've been more negative this week than I usually ever am. I had to end class in Kissemahn early on Tuesday because I was practically in tears. I was teaching all alone, the kids were fighting, and I felt like it was completely out of control. I felt like a failure, here I was, trying to teach, and in over 2 hours I barely helped the kids learn anything at all. I try so hard to find the positive in everything. Yet, this week I felt only exasperated, anxious, and stressed by the end of the week. It hasn't been a good feeling, and I absolutely dislike negativity. It's an emotion that sucks you in so easily and then proceeds to take you absolutely nowhere. Negativity is not what I, nor anybody else needs right now.

This is Africa. And that's a beautiful thing.

It hit me today after we were leaving the Accra mall and attempting to catch a tro back home to Legon. We looked ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. The mates usually scream out the window where they are headed, but instead today they barely muttered the direction of their tro. That left me, Taylor, and Rachel running around like idiots. It took us well over 30 minutes to catch one home, and we were laughing the whole time. It was what I needed. A moment to ground me. To help me relax. After all, this is Ghana. At the end of the day, I can't have what I want. Nor do I need what I want. I am here to experience this place, this wonderful country.

After this, and talking to my best friend over skype last night I have been feeling better today. No, I'm not leaping for joy. But that's okay. I've realized I don't have to be shouting, laughing loudly, and being obnoxious to be happy. I can be content. I can be working through the challenges, doing the best I can, and still be happy.

I've taken a leap already, just by coming here. I thought about this earlier in the week at Kokrobite Beach. The sand, the people, the sun, it was just a genuinely pretty day. I felt so lucky, and I knew, somehow, that I was going to be challenged the upcoming week. I was.

Now, it's about what I do with that. I can certainly be negative and allow that to seep deeply into this experience. Or, I can learn from it, embrace it, and take every moment of being in Ghana as a gift. Few people get an opportunity like this. I took the jump. And it's okay if I fall. I can get right back up.

Michelle told me,

"That peace is God, and I know it is still inside of you, and I know it is SO hard to feel God sometimes. I know he feels SO far away sometimes and you wonder how you can ever pray or feel close again, but I just want you to know that he is inside of you and he's not going anywhere and he's with you and he's always been with you and every step you take in Ghana he is in your heart."

Thank you for being by my side. Thank you to my friends, my family, to everyone for just loving me. I know I'm going to be okay.

The only way to really know is to really let it go

Kamke National Park

It has been difficult to understand my place here in Ghana.

On one hand, I am a white. Because of the color of my skin, I cannot escape that. I am marked as a tourist, as a visitor, as someone separate from Ghanaian society. This couldn't be more obvious when I am taking pictures of locals moving around in markets atop a huge, air-conditioned, tourist bus. It doesn't help that when visiting a busy market or anywhere around town you know you are being called when you hear the simple phrase Obruni (meaning "white" in Twi). Or maybe when I stumble over various phrases and words in Twi, a language spoken as a first language by 50% of the population, I feel increasingly isolated from real Ghanaians. Even today, before our canopy tour in Kamke National Park, I was given a name tag that read "Non-Ghanaian Student." There are different rates for different people, and the rate for a non-Ghanaian student is higher than the rate for a Ghanaian student for the tour in the park. While this is fine, I couldn't help but think to myself, "wait, aren't I attending the University of Ghana? Shouldn't I also be a Ghanaian student?" On a lighter note, I think I felt most American when our group went to Chez Afrique for dinner. Chez Afrique is a nice restaurant, with a pretty chill vibe. When the band starting playing tunes such as "I Will Survive" and "Murder She Wrote" many of us just belted out singing and dancing near the stage. This charade of singing certainly did not end at the restaurant. As we piled into the International Programs Bus we sang the whole way home. We sang anything from Grease, some Beyonce, classic Journey tunes, and to Sweet Home Alabama. While I did feel quite American, I enjoyed every minute of it. I mean, just because I'm in a different country doesn't mean I can't continue to embarrass myself.

Luckily though, this hasn't been my only experience in trying to comprehend where I fit in here. At other times, I have felt completely apart of Ghanaian life. When visiting the school over in Kisema, just down the road, the kids are always thrilled to see you. Instantly, they will latch on to you, and hope that you never let go. While I don't find this surprising—these are kids after all—I did have an even more surprising experience this past week that made me feel more welcome not just to Ghana, but to this community. Ricki, a young girl, decided to take me to her home in Kisema. It was lunch break, so some kids were sticking around to play with us, while others had gone home to see their families. She got on my back for a piggy-back ride and headed to her home. She lives just down the road from the make-shift school we work in, and as I let her down from my back, I was hesitant to step any further. This was her home, and I didn't want to barge in or anything. Her home is comprised of several rooms and buildings that seem to house most of her immediate family. While I didn't step directly inside a bedroom or anything, her Aunt did invite me to sit on a bench with the other members of the family to relax. As I looked at my surroundings, I saw a young naked child running around with soap on him. Clearly, he was in the middle of bath and was not heeding to his mother's orders. Ricki's grandmother was also bathing herself, right in the middle of the pathway. It took me aback at first, but she felt so comfortable washing herself without a shirt on that I tried not to act startled. The notion of privacy seemed quite different in this particular community, so I decided to just go with the flow. As I sat with her family for just a few minutes, I remember feeling so welcome, and that felt so good. Here I was in the middle of a home, in the middle of a town in Ghana, and I was receiving some wonderful hospitality. Maybe they didn't have food or a cold drink to offer, but they had a bench and they let me sit there. It meant a lot to me.

I've also felt more apart of Ghana now that I am getting comfortable moving around and getting to places. It's still a work in progress, but being able to catch a tro-tro and not have a huge group of white kids around has made fitting in a little easier. As a student, I am feeling more a part of the campus community because many of the students have been so welcome here. I've met people who have shown me around campus, other students in class who have offered pieces of advice, and others who have invited me to do things around the University of Ghana. I like being involved as a student, especially outside of the classroom, so it makes a difference.

Living here for 4 months makes finding my place a little more difficult. Not quite a tourist, and yet not quite a permanent citizen of Ghana, I am somewhere in the middle. I think that's okay though, and I am just fine with that. I am happy I have the months ahead to do all that I want around West Africa, and I am also glad I have been here for almost 3 weeks because I am beginning to feel at home. I have a wonderful circle of friends, from all over, and we just have so much fun together. I love that I can talk with people here for hours and it doesn't even matter. All of us are slowly getting adjusted to Ghana time (you know, say you will be somewhere and show up 45 minutes late) and I think it's good for those of us are so used to different lifestyles. It's good to slow down, have a nice long chat, and enjoy the time we have.

At the Slave Castles in Cape Coast

I'm doing my best to just let whatever happens here, happen. I'm trying not to fixate on finding my place here, and rather, just let everything work itself out. I am here and here for a reason, and this is important to keep in mind.

I am ready for a new week, a week where I can finally get my class schedule straightened out, a week that brings new adventures and new opportunities. I am a bit tired from this weekend, I must say. This past weekend we visited Cape Coast! We drove a bus there, which took a little more than 3 hours, and we first went to the Slave castles. We saw where slaves were kept while being prepared for transportation across the Atlantic Ocean. After learning so much about the slave trade from my classes at Hendrix last semester, it was incredible to be there. To be at a place where it actually happened…it was intense. Cape Coast is gorgeous, and it seems ironic that something so hell-ish, like slavery, happened along the coasts of a place so beautiful. Visiting those slave castles was hard and still something I have wanted to do for a very long time. The pictures do not do the place justice, as the feeling of actually being in the dungeons is unparalleled by a lot of other emotions I have felt in my life.

We stayed over in Cape Coast, and unfortunately around the time we were at the slave castles, I had a bad allergic reaction that affected my eyes. It burnt to open them, they were swelling and it was quite uncomfortable. Still, my friends were good sports as I wore sunglasses to dinner and took allergy medicine that made me a little loopy.

I did get to eat spaghetti though, with CHEESE, so obviously I was one happy girl. I woke up the next morning and my eyes were much better. We spent this morning at Kamke National Park. We got to go on a canopy tour which was awesome and I loved it! Anyone afraid of heights had a more difficult time, but everyone got through it and had some fun. The trees and the brush in the rainforest is so green and beautiful that I couldn't stop taking pictures. Like at the slave castles, I had a hard time taking pictures that truly captured the essence of what we were surrounded by.

It's been a good, long week and I feel fulfilled. I really do.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in your ways acknowledge him, and he will your paths straight. Proverbs 3: 5-6

 

“Obronis! This is Ghana man!”

Good morning Africa.

That was what I was thinking a couple of mornings ago when we awoke to no power and to no electricity. I can't say I was thrilled, but since we spent the day touring Accra, it didn't really matter anyway. Our tour of Accra was really enjoyable. We saw the presidential palace, went to the memorial for the first President of Ghana, saw the BEACH, went to a touristy market where some guys gave me some hints on how to play the drums, ate Chinese food in a nice part of town, and traveled to the Accra mall to get last minute items we need for our rooms. When we came back from the tour though, with the power and water still out, we had to suck it up and hang out in the dark. It was really fun just sitting in Amanda's room talking in the dark, getting to know people even better. Needless to say, all of us here are growing closer because of our common bond. We are in the same boat; we are adjusting to living Africa, and that common experience is creating a tie between us. If nothing else, we are learning to appreciate how blessed—how spoiled, quite frankly—we are back in the States. With no power or water here we haven't been able to take showers, have lights on at night, or even flush the toilets. What's more, is that I am learning how much food we consume back home. We have a meal stipend that ISEP provided for us that amounts to about $700. This works out to about 7 cedi a day for food, or what would be a little over 6 dollars. At first I remember thinking that there was no way this would be enough. Contrary to that believe, it is more than enough. I can eat under 2 cedi (just over 1 dollar) for every meal pretty easily. Whether it is fruit, an egg sandwich, red-red, or jollof and chicken, everything here is so delicious and so inexpensive. At the night market yesterday when my friends and I were getting some fresh pineapple and papaya for dinner we were talking about how cheap it was. The woman cutting the pineapple thought we were complaining, and we had to reassure her that it was quite the contrary, we just couldn't believe how wonderful the food was and inexpensive it was too.

As we toured the city the other day, I distinctly remember the faces of the people we saw out the window. We traversed through markets, homes, and the city on a huge, touristy bus. You can envision the looks we were getting. Imagine 45 international kids starting out the window, from a huge, air-conditioned bus. Most people would light up when seeing us though, for whatever reason they seemed happy to see us. I liked waving from the bus, especially when kids would wave back, but more than anything, I think I want to go back to the city and greet people on the same level. I want to walk by them, have a chance to shake their hand, and give them a proper greeting. I felt almost pretentious waving from a bus, to be perfectly honest. The Ghanaian students have been warm to us also, but have been much more hesitant in extending their hospitality. My best guess is that to them, we are these privileged white kids showing up to the University of Ghana and staying in the nicest place on campus. Yesterday, we didn't even have to wait in the long lines for registration, we just got to bypass that and sign up for classes. I can understand where the resentment would come from. Assumptions they are making about us are going both ways, because we are making assumptions about Ghanaian students also. It's been weird to be in the minority, at least in terms of race, because I have never had that experience before. My high school in Aurora, Colorado was well over 90% white and my college in Conway, Arkansas is also devoid of any signs of diversity. Yet, it is an experience I not only want, but need. Understanding life is a lot of understanding what others go through and you should embrace walking in their shoes. As the first President of Ghana once said, "Forward ever, backwards never."

In other updates…

**The biggest news in Ghana these days is about the national earthquake hoax from a couple of days ago. A couple nights ago in our hostel, we were told to come out of our rooms (at 4:15 am!!) because of an earthquake alert. Turns out, it was a national hoax started from text messages, so now the government in Ghana is trying to figure out who started the text.

**I have registered for my classes!! I am taking two social work classes (Working with Communities & Women and Children's Rights and Protections), an English class (Landmarks in African American Literature), & a Geography class (Geography of Gender and Development in Africa). I am very happy about the classes I am taking! Oh, and I don't have any classes on Tuesdays and Wednesdays which totally rocks.

**I am going to go to the sports directorate today and try and join the University of Ghana field hockey team!!

**I will be visiting a village near the U of G tomorrow to check out a program I am considering volunteering for. It is an outreach program that provides education for disadvantaged children. I met some of the children yesterday and they are beautiful J

**Because of the lack of water, Rachel and I took our first bucket showers here in Ghana. How do you do it? Fill a bucket with water from the spigot in the courtyard and use a small cup to wash your body with this water. After over 2 days with no shower, it felt surprisingly wonderful.

**I just handwashed all of my dirty clothes. It didn't take terribly long since I didn't have a lot to wash, but it made me realize how different things are from back home.

Goodbye Home, Hello Africa!

"I love you, O Lord, my strength." Psalm 18:1

Tomorrow is the BIG day!

I have been thinking about this moment for about a year and a half. Scratch that. I've been thinking about this moment ever since I came to Hendrix, and knew that I wanted to study abroad and go to Africa.

I don't know what to expect. At all. I think that might be the best part. Yes, I may have no hot water. And yes, I may just have to wash my own clothes, minus a washer and dryer. But really, that's what I wanted to get out of this experience anyway. I wanted to live a little differently for awhile so that I can find greater meaning and appreciation for the life I have lived for the past 21 years.

I am going to Ghana. I am going to Africa. For 5 months. It's crazy how much I have changed in the past couple years at Hendrix, so it should be interesting how I change and what I learn from 5 months of studying at the University of Ghana.

Why Ghana? What do I want from this experience?

To be challenged, to be uncomfortable, and from this, find ways to adapt and learn from being uncomfortable.

To become more open-minded.

To understand the gifts God has given me, and to use them as I meet new people from all parts of the world.

To let go of being in control all of the time. Really, to just let things happen as they happen, and rely on others more fully.

To find inner peace.

To learn new ways to trust God.

To move away from relying on material items all the time.

To find a place in Ghana to volunteer my time, as I further try to find my purpose and path in life.

To always, always appreciate the blessings—big and small—in life.

Those are some goals and thoughts behind my motivation to study in Ghana.

My blog is named "This is Africa" because after talking about Ghana with a girl who studied there in the past, she told us that this is what she had to keep in mind while living in Africa. Things are just different there, not necessarily worse, just different. Whenever she would get frustrated with how things were being done in Ghana, she would remind herself—"This is Africa." I too, will be reminding myself of this. Hopefully, I can achieve my goal of just letting things happen as they will happen, and I can fully embrace This is Africa.

Tomorrow I have a flight from Denver to London, and then will head from London to Accra on British Airways. I should be arriving in Accra on Tuesday, January 12, 2010 at approximately 9:30 pm. It is then, that the adventure really begins.